sitting in my accord next to the “bmdubs” and the lexuseseses with sophie and feez, this is when I realize that soulmates are real, nothing to do with falling in love and everything to do with the most constant kind of love I can ask for and have received a thousand times over
I am quiet - is it out of lack of knowledge, inadequacy, timidness, I don’t know, maybe a little of everything but not being passive that’s for sure - I soak up what it means to say “What’s up G” (G does not equal gangsta….ask feeza about the five percenters) I soak up the intensity with which she says these things, the urgent necessity to do so, and how sophie quickly responds with her interwoven humor that is SO much more than humor, her volcano of in-depth genius that is simply just admirably great but never overbearing, and I’m stuck between a state of appreciating these pieces of information sinking into my membrane, wanting to say something, a little sleepiness (of course), my heart kinda beats a little faster thinking I’ll be so far away from these two (and many more) but more because i feel like I can’t reciprocate that kind of intellectual love, but also knowing that love and intellect have nothing to do with each other; not being able to reciprocate ARTICULATELY, because if they could cut open my heart they would drown in an ocean of my affection for them, but no words no reply no amount of hand gestures and barely there smiles could ever let them know -
I think tonight I was the chauffeur and that is more than okay in its own way
